Don't Explain Yourself So Much

In Carlos Castaneda’s online book “The Active Side of Infinity” his sorcery friend gave him the following advice: "Don't explain yourself so much," don Juan said with a stern look in his eyes. "Sorcerers say that in every explanation there is a hidden apology. So, when you are explaining why you cannot do this or that, you're really apologizing for your shortcomings, hoping that whoever is listening to you will have the kindness to understand them."

When a person takes the time to think about what don Juan said, one gets the impression that he is absolutely correct. When we explain something to someone, we really do apologizing for not knowing what we are talking about. Or may be we just don’t understand the subject as well as we think we do.

How many time do you make apologizes or explain yourself in a day. Do you even realize that this is what you’re doing? I never thought about the fact that "explaining something" could be an apology. I have always believed that I was simply saying, “This is what I think something is all about.” To believe that I was apologizing never came into my mind.

So how does that affect you/me? It may not have any affect at all because we believe that we are only saying what it is we believe. Apology? I’m not so sure. I may only be asking the person I’m talking to whether or not they agree with me. I may only be saying that I need some clarification as to whether or not I’m on the right path. Oh! I see. I really am apologizing for not being sure or needing a little advice because I really didn’t have all the information I needed.

Yes, explanations really do consist of an apology. I wish I had understood this many years ago. Maybe I would have been a better teacher, technician or – what ever.

Maybe in the future we should not do so much explaining and just say what we mean. Make it a statement of fact. Be as correct as possible and if the other person believes we have is wrong, they will correct us. That I’m sure of.