Confusion

Webster’s dictionary says that confusion is “A mistake that results from taking one thing to be another”. This often holds true for all of us at times. We don’t always hear what is actually being said or we’re thinking of something else rather than listening to what is being said at the time.

I know that this happens more often than it should. Our minds often take us “on a journey” while we are at a lecture or a meeting where the subject just doesn’t pertain directly to us at the moment. We can be asked a question or someone can speak our name and it takes a moment or two for us to come back to reality. We are then confused as to what had been said to us and normally ask for the person to repeat their question or comment. This is especially true when a person’s native language is not the one in which they involved in at the present moment. These people are often translating the words of one language into their native language and miss what is being said in the next moment. They miss what the other person has just said to them or to the group their part of. I find this to be true here in Montreal where I live. French is the native language for the majority of people. When I make a joke, they often laugh but really didn’t understand the joke as they are inclined to ask another person who speaks French to explain the joke to them.

I was at a meeting the other day and this happened, unknown to me at the time. I said something to a person and they took it all wrong as if to say “you are one of those I’m talking about”. If the subject was really for them, then they should have said what? Repeat that. Or talk to me after the meeting to have me explain why I said what I did. However, that didn’t happen and it’s been several days since and the circumstance and the situation is lost to me. I talked to a person who was at the meeting and they said that I did say something to that other person that I should not have. I am sorry that it happened and I sure don’t want it to happen again. I apologized to the person but whether they accepted it or not is up to them.

One of the articles I wrote for my book was titled “Clarity Needed” in which I spelled out some things that happened to me, and a professor I had at university. We all need to be understood and to understand each other. We also need to understand that we are only human and we make mistakes. Mistakes that can make things difficult for us and even destroy a friendship.

When we talk to people we know and try to make jokes, we should be sure that they understand that we are just joking. If not… So what can we do? Should we be someone were not? Should we be “walking on egg shells” when we are around other people, where we are so careful that we are not ourselves? This is something that we will all have to come to terms with and even when we do, we will have to remember that when we are with a certain person that we must be extremely careful. After all, we don’t want to hurt anyone, verbally or otherwise.

I am still experiencing a bit of confusion as too what actually happened and I’m very sorry that the problem exists. Maybe this was a learning situation for me that I really need. I WILL be more careful in the future.